Ladybugs and Mama

Well, you all know about Mama's love of Ladybugs, so since she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease, Ladybugs have seemed to be around when she couldn't be.  There was one that we found the day we celebrated Daddy's birthday in June, at Barry's birthday party last year when Becki announced she was pregnant, Mama was there, but there were lady bugs there also!

So it came as no big surprise when Daddy told Becki that on the day of Elijah's first birthday party that one flew onto the edge of his opened window.  Daddy said he pushed it off the window so it would be caught by the wind and fly away.  Becki said he shouldn't have, because it was Mama trying to get to Eli's birthday party.  

Well, Beverly told everyone in the family, and we've all been joking with Daddy about it.  He told Beverly (joking & not knowing I have a blog) "You may as well put it on the internet."

So, Daddy- you got your wish, here it is!  I love you!

2 Months Yesterday

Yesterday was 2 months since Mama passed away.  It should be a joyous time though because it was also Doug's and my 9th wedding anniversary.  He's been home sick with Bronchitis 5 of the last 6 work days.  I took him to the doctor Monday and he got a prescription, so he's feeling a little bit better and is at work today.  I am so lost without him and I greatly fear losing him.

Most days I'm ok with Mama being gone, but today it has just hit me hard.  So, once again, I'm here crying at work.  I want to be strong about it, but it IS a big deal.  She is gone.  Her mind was mostly gone LONG before her body, but it still hurts..ALOT.  

I think her donating her body to EVMS was a good thing.  She was a teacher in life, and now she is a teacher even in death.  I know that her soul has gone, but it is a bit unnerving to me to know that her body is out there somewhere.  I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to look up the number and say, "Hey-where's my Mama-I just need to hug her."  But, I know that that will no longer be something that I can do.  

Here's my Gratitude journal for the day:

1.  9 wonderful years with my hubby, Doug.
2.  Antibiotics and all the Scientists that create them.
3.  The crooked light post.
4.  Family.
5.  People who love me just the way I am.