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Thursday, February 14, 2008

2 Months Yesterday

Yesterday was 2 months since Mama passed away.  It should be a joyous time though because it was also Doug's and my 9th wedding anniversary.  He's been home sick with Bronchitis 5 of the last 6 work days.  I took him to the doctor Monday and he got a prescription, so he's feeling a little bit better and is at work today.  I am so lost without him and I greatly fear losing him.

Most days I'm ok with Mama being gone, but today it has just hit me hard.  So, once again, I'm here crying at work.  I want to be strong about it, but it IS a big deal.  She is gone.  Her mind was mostly gone LONG before her body, but it still hurts..ALOT.  

I think her donating her body to EVMS was a good thing.  She was a teacher in life, and now she is a teacher even in death.  I know that her soul has gone, but it is a bit unnerving to me to know that her body is out there somewhere.  I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to look up the number and say, "Hey-where's my Mama-I just need to hug her."  But, I know that that will no longer be something that I can do.  

Here's my Gratitude journal for the day:

1.  9 wonderful years with my hubby, Doug.
2.  Antibiotics and all the Scientists that create them.
3.  The crooked light post.
4.  Family.
5.  People who love me just the way I am.

1 comments:

Anonymous said...

Time is going by so quickly, to think it's already been 2 months when the pain feels as fresh as if she died today.... I had a really hard day yesterday and was feeling really overwhelmed and all of a sudden I see this purple umbrella. I didn't see a person underneath it at first because they were behind a wall and I just burst out crying and laughing all at the same time and said "Thank You Mama, you're right it could be worse, I could be dead..."

On the plus side I was able to concentrate for the rest of the day on the minus side I still failed my first French test... I Love You. Niece M.

P.S WooHoo to 9 beautiful years. :)