Ladybugs and Mama

Well, you all know about Mama's love of Ladybugs, so since she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease, Ladybugs have seemed to be around when she couldn't be.  There was one that we found the day we celebrated Daddy's birthday in June, at Barry's birthday party last year when Becki announced she was pregnant, Mama was there, but there were lady bugs there also!

So it came as no big surprise when Daddy told Becki that on the day of Elijah's first birthday party that one flew onto the edge of his opened window.  Daddy said he pushed it off the window so it would be caught by the wind and fly away.  Becki said he shouldn't have, because it was Mama trying to get to Eli's birthday party.  

Well, Beverly told everyone in the family, and we've all been joking with Daddy about it.  He told Beverly (joking & not knowing I have a blog) "You may as well put it on the internet."

So, Daddy- you got your wish, here it is!  I love you!

2 Months Yesterday

Yesterday was 2 months since Mama passed away.  It should be a joyous time though because it was also Doug's and my 9th wedding anniversary.  He's been home sick with Bronchitis 5 of the last 6 work days.  I took him to the doctor Monday and he got a prescription, so he's feeling a little bit better and is at work today.  I am so lost without him and I greatly fear losing him.

Most days I'm ok with Mama being gone, but today it has just hit me hard.  So, once again, I'm here crying at work.  I want to be strong about it, but it IS a big deal.  She is gone.  Her mind was mostly gone LONG before her body, but it still hurts..ALOT.  

I think her donating her body to EVMS was a good thing.  She was a teacher in life, and now she is a teacher even in death.  I know that her soul has gone, but it is a bit unnerving to me to know that her body is out there somewhere.  I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to look up the number and say, "Hey-where's my Mama-I just need to hug her."  But, I know that that will no longer be something that I can do.  

Here's my Gratitude journal for the day:

1.  9 wonderful years with my hubby, Doug.
2.  Antibiotics and all the Scientists that create them.
3.  The crooked light post.
4.  Family.
5.  People who love me just the way I am.

Happy 32nd Birthday! & "the gift that keeps on giving"

Beverly picked me up Saturday about 1:30pm.  We went to the La Quinta Inn not far from my house, to spend the night for my birthday (which was yesterday). Beverly was sick all night, we thought it was food poisoning.  

I walked next door and got my dinner at Denny's (I like Denny's).  Beverly felt bad that I had to go get my own dinner, but it REALLY WAS OK!!!  I got a "fried" chicken salad with honey mustard dressing and had half of a Nacho appetizer (which was rather spicy!).  I brought Beverly some toast and had Doug bring some saltine crackers and grape juice (her choice)...I don't like grape juice..  The grape juice helped her and she stopped throwing up.  We watched the movies "Sydney White" and "Good Luck Chuck".  Both were great movies.  I did some sudoku puzzles and went to bed.  

The hotel had a continental breakfast that was better than any I've ever had.  They had 3 kinds of cereal, rye bread and cinnamon raisin bread (no toaster though?), peeled hard boiled eggs, bagels, blueberry muffins, apple juice, orange juice, coffee, milk, yogurt and do-it-yourself waffles.  The waffle thing was pretty neat. You fill a little plastic cup with the mix, pour it in the bottom of the wafflemaker, shut the lid, flip it over and it starts the timer.  After 2 and a half minutes, you have a yummy waffle.  :)  Beverly didn't see anything neat about me having to make my own waffle..but I did!  

She dropped me off at the house around noon and went home. Then 2:30am yesterday, I wake up and realize, SURPRISE!  Beverly didn't have food poisoning...and now I am sick.  Now all my muscles ache.  It's hard to sit up, but it hurts to lay down too.

I haven't been writing in my gratitude journal, so I'll write today.  I am grateful:

1.  That I am feeling better
2.  That I can keep food and liquids down
3.  That Beverly cared enough to "share" the very best...(grin-I love you!)
4.  That I have friends and family I can count on when needed
5.  That I have a great husband!

I have joined several different yahoogroups and on one, someone posted the following link.  It has some neat information on eating cheap and healthy.  Neice M.  I thought you and Jaime would be especially interested in this imformation.

http://casaubonsbook.blogspot.com/2007/11/how-to-eat-cheap.html

Gratitude Journal

Well, I'm having a bad day.  I keep thinking about Mama, and it
makes me cry.  

I promised my friend Barbara (from freebeescafe) that I would start a gratitude journal.  She's starting one so she'll have 
a better outlook on her life, and I think that's a good idea.  So I 
will join her in that.  So for today, here are my 5 things I am 
grateful for.

1.  Mama isn't suffering anymore.
2.  Mama keeps helping me remember her in subtle ways. 
3.  Mama backed into a light post in the Plaza Skating Rink
parking lot 24 years ago. I smile every time I drive by.
4.  That I have a job that pays the bills.
5.  That I have a great husband that understands.

P.S. Neice M.:  Thank you for your kind words both on here and
email.  I love you too!  Love- Aunt B.

First blog

This is my first blog, so I'm learning here.  The simple reason I started this blog is to put down my feelings about my mothers death last month.  I feel that if I "get it all out there" that I can grieve properly.  So...here goes.